We were on the truck coming back after New Orleans. They slowed down to take us through a bump gate and cross a cattle guard. When that happens I know I’m getting close to home. So I look out the trailer and what do I see, green grass and lots of it. I can’t wait to get out in that pasture and eat my belly full.
 

            We get a little closer to the ranch and I’m getting antsy. I keep looking out at that pasture and I can imagine how good that grass will taste. Then out of the corner of my eye, I see something else that looks pretty attractive.
 

            Out there grazing on my grass is a little black and white paint heifer. I’m telling you, this girl has a hip on her that just won’t quit. And don’t get me started talking about her legs.

            She must have known I was thinking about her, or maybe it was just because she heard the truck, but she picked her head up, turned around and I swear she looked right at me. She has the cutest little horns I ever saw. We get to ranch headquarters and I tell Satan’s Own and Born To Boogie to get out of the way. I’m the first one off the truck.

            Satan’s Own and Born To Boogie head for water and I decide to join them, but the whole time I’m wondering where that heifer went. So they turn us out into a little trap at headquarters and I’m walking the fence just hoping to get a glimpse of her.

            Pretty soon I see some girls coming over a hill and headed our direction. There’re four or five of them and I think she’s one of them. They get a little closer and I know she’s coming to see me. About that time, she stops, lowers her head and gets a big mouthful of grass.

            She’s grazing and I’m getting impatient. I really want to meet her. She must be playing hard to get, because she is just eating and not paying any attention to me. Well I can’t figure that out so I let out a big beller just to let her know that I’m there.

            You know that silly heifer just kept grazing and didn’t pay any attention to me. So maybe she’s not the girl for me and I start checking out the other heifers. There’s this white-faced brindle that’s kind of cute.

            Just when I’m about to introduce myself, little miss hard-to-get starts coming my way. Well two can play at this game. I’m hanging out with the boys and we’re checking out the other heifers and wishing there wasn’t a fence between us.

            About that time, she gets a little closer and is looking around a mesquite tree checking us out. This time I know she looked right at me. She has the longest eyelashes I’ve ever seen. I’m telling myself, “My name is Walk This Way and I’ve got Baditude,” over and over and over.

            She comes a little closer and I say, “You’ve got the prettiest eyelashes I’ve ever seen. What’s your name?”

            She batted those eyelashes at me some more and said, “My name is Ivana, Ivana Buck.”

           That sets me off, Ivana Buck. Heifers don’t really buck, that’s a bull’s job and I tell her that. She turns around, says “Watch me,” and heads across the pasture jumping and kicking. I’m done for.

When she comes back after that little demonstration, it’s all I can do to keep my cool. But I want to make a good impression so I’m trying to be a gentleman. “That was great,” I say. “My name is Walk This Way.”

            She looks at me with those big brown eyes again and says, “I know exactly who you are. You’re the talk of all us heifers. You know that Walk This Way, the bull with Baditude. We’ve all been wondering when you’d get to hang out with us at the ranch. It’s good to have you here.”
 

Then she turned away and walked off. Well I don’t have to tell you but I’m totally smitten. I don’t want to eat, green grass doesn’t mean much, I just want to get to know that Ivana Buck a lot better.

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